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Ekya / October 17, 2022 Posted by : administrator

“Am I doing it correctly?”, asks every parent ever. Nothing is “good” or “bad”, “right” or “wrong” when it comes to raising kids. Parenting is a tough but wholesome and fulfilling process, with a lot of learning and mistakes involved, and we might always feel underprepared. Did you know that every parent follows a distinct parenting style that is guided by their own childhood experiences, awareness, and individual thought processes? 

Here, we shall discuss the various parenting styles, their pros and cons, and how they affect a child’s psychology.

Early childhood experts suggest four parenting styles based on developmental psychologist Dr. Diana Baumrind’s research and Maccoby & Martin’s theory.

  • Authoritarian or Disciplinarian
  • Authoritative or Democratic
  • Neglectful or Indifferent
  • Permissive or Indulgent

What Type Of Parent Are You?

  • The Authoritarian Parent

“Do this because I told you.” 

“Finish your vegetables if you want dessert.” 

“Timeout, buddy!”

Authoritarian or “helicopter” parents often say similar things and love to hover around the child. High expectations, the urge to control all aspects of their life, and low responsiveness are highlights of an authoritarian parenting style. Authoritarian parents demand cooperation and respect by establishing iron-clad rules, evoking fear, and behaving strictly. Communication is mostly one-way and punishments are often handed out if rules are broken. 

Resultantly, children may:

  • get overly reliant on parents
  • become insecure with low self-esteem
  • throw temper tantrums
  • experience behavioural problems
  • have poor socio-emotional and coping skills

However, being authoritarian sometimes is not the worst. Since authoritarian parenting clearly defines rules, children are more likely to exhibit good behaviour and are more goal-driven because they adhere to detailed plans. Also, authoritarian parenting strongly focuses on the child’s safety, so it diminishes the possibility of indulging in risks.

  • The Authoritative Parent

“You must eat healthy food if you want to become strong.”
“Do you think you could’ve done this in a better way?”
“Let’s finish our homework before we go out to play.”

An authoritative parent also has high expectations for maturity and achievement, but they respond warmly and set boundaries using reasoning and explanations. They’ve open discussions on issues, negotiate rules, acknowledge feelings, and believe in making kids aware of morals, goals, and values. Being supportive and affectionate helps them regulate negative behaviours. Resultantly, children:

  • are more active, happy, independent, and content
  • develop high self-confidence
  • exhibit less aggressive or violent tendencies
  • behave more rationally
  • are more socially competent and securely anchored to their beliefs
  • believe in expanding their learning

However, as children step into teenage, authoritative parents need to be a little more strict to deal with rebellion, apathy, and anger.

  • The Indifferent Parent

“Did he finish his homework today?”
“Where is she?”
“Why is the food still on the table?”

The above statements reflect an uninvolved parenting style. Indifferent or uninvolved parents may often lack knowledge about their child’s whereabouts. However, it may not be intentional. Sometimes the parents are busy in their jobs (due to financial constraints), dealing with mental issues of their own, overwhelmed by unexpected pregnancy, or have a low self-esteem themselves so they believe that the child would do better outside their supervision.

Resultantly, children may:

  • turn more impulsive
  • find it hard to self-regulate
  • turn aggressive to demand attention
  • grow mature before their age because they need to raise themselves

A little guidance and lots of social support can help neglectful parents overcome issues and connect with their child.

  • The Permissive Parent

“You don’t want to eat green? Okay, let’s eat chocolate.”
“Didn’t clean your room? Make sure that you tidy it up this weekend.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t understand maths in class. Let’s find you a tutor.”

Permissive parents often find themselves saying all this. They’re highly responsive, warm, and indulgent but have low expectations, and don’t enforce rules or set boundaries as they’re afraid to disappoint their children. Since they can’t say “no” to kids, they often end up pampering them. As a result, children may: 

  • fail to learn to respect rules
  • easily manipulate adults into doing their bidding
  • exhibit egocentric tendencies and poor self-control
  • frequently experience fights and breakups as a result of their inability to deal with social interactions and relationships.

Permissive parents need to be a little more rational and strict when setting limits and expectations, as it’s good for their child in the long run.

Which Parenting Style Is Most Effective Today? 

Well, no one can answer this question with a 100% guarantee. However, early childhood research states that authoritative parenting may yield the best outcomes in children. Just remember that balance is the key! We can raise our kids beautifully by raising ourselves in the process.

We, at Ekya Schools, take ownership of your child’s learning because we understand the pressure our parents go through, especially during the early childhood and teen years. We firmly believe that parents are major stakeholders in their child’s learning process. So, we have thorough one-on-one meetings where our teachers and parents collectively discuss the learning gaps and join hands to apply best solutions for improving children’s performance. We also conduct parenting workshops and offer guidance & counselling for our students’ personal and professional development. Get in touch to know how we’re your partner in parenting!

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Ekya / April 03, 2024

The Power of Learning with Intent: A Guide to Purposeful Education

In a world brimming with information, the art of learning has evolved beyond the mere acquisition of facts. Learning with intent, a deliberate approach to education emphasises quality over quantity, depth over breadth, and purpose over passive absorption. It’s about cultivating a mindset that transforms knowledge into meaningful action and empowers individuals to navigate the complexities of the modern age effectively.

At its core, learning with intent involves setting clear objectives and actively engaging with the subject matter. Whether exploring a new language, delving into scientific principles, or honing a creative skill, intentionality infuses each learning endeavour with purpose and direction. As Albert Einstein aptly said, "The only source of knowledge is experience." This quote amplifies the importance of active participation and hands-on learning, highlighting that true understanding arises from deliberate engagement with the material.

Furthermore, engaging actively with the material is paramount. Embrace challenges and embrace mistakes as opportunities for growth. This proactive approach not only deepens your understanding but also cultivates critical thinking and problem-solving skills essential for success in any field.

Moreover, learning with intent emphasises relevance and applicability. Seek out opportunities to apply newfound knowledge in real-world scenarios, bridging the gap between theory and practice. By contextualising learning within your personal or professional sphere, you enhance its significance and utility, making it more likely to stick.

In conclusion, learning with intent is a transformative approach that transcends traditional notions of education. By setting clear objectives, engaging actively, prioritising relevance, and fostering a growth mindset, individuals can harness the full potential of learning to achieve their goals and thrive in an ever-changing world. So, embark on your learning journey with purpose, and let each lesson propel you towards a brighter, more fulfilling future.

By Sweta Pradeep Rao

Senior English Educator

Ekya School JP Nagar

Ekya / April 02, 2024

Gadget-free Summer Break

With summer vacation around, I urge parents to explore various ways to facilitate children to make healthy choices during their vacation time.

Last week, when we asked our Early Years to visualise their characters and create a story, most of them came up with stories about ghosts and monsters attacking others.  When we had conversations about what gave them this idea, we understood that these story ideas emanated from their online games. While gaming per se develops specific skills and requires focus, it also stifles the imagination of young children. Since it is visually appealing, children tend to remember those images in their heads all the time.

I often see parents providing very young children (1 year to 3 year olds)  with gadgets as the means to keep children engaged and entertained. I see children watching phones in the waiting areas of clinics, hospitals, school lobbies and banks.

This brings us to a fundamental question “ Should children be engaged by parents all the time?” Not necessarily. What is likely to happen if children were not handed over gadgets at the waiting lounges? What would they do? Some of them may cry, some may throw a loud tantrum, and some may crib. If parents show resilience and allow children to settle down themselves, they will soon find ways to keep themselves engaged. Likewise, during summer vacation. What if this is a “no gadget” vacation and parents do not take up the responsibility to engage their children? What would children do? How can parents show resilience here and facilitate children to make healthy choices? I leave the readers with this thought for this summer vacation.

Mathangi R,

Head of School,

Ekya NICE Road.

Ekya / April 02, 2024

The Eye of the Storm

In the hushed embrace of an Indian evening, our journey began, a symphony of anticipation orchestrated by the hum of jet engines and the flutter of boarding passes. The promise of adventure beckoned from distant shores as we boarded our flight bound for the United Kingdom, our hearts aflutter with dreams of far-off lands and newfound horizons. But as we soared through the velvet sky, a foreboding shadow loomed on the horizon, a harbinger of the chaos that was soon to unfold. In the blink of an eye, the tranquil serenity of our airborne sanctuary was shattered by a deafening crack, a burst of purple lightning that danced across the heavens with an otherworldly fervour. The air crackled with electricity as the plane shuddered beneath the force of the storm, its metal frame quivering in defiance against the tempestuous onslaught. And then, in a heart-stopping moment of sheer terror, the heavens unleashed their fury upon us, casting our fragile vessel into a maelstrom of chaos and uncertainty. The sky darkened to a shade of ominous charcoal as the winds howled with a primal ferocity, tearing at the wings of our faltering craft with savage intent. The cabin was awash with panicked cries and frantic prayers as we clung to our seats with white-knuckled desperation, each passing moment stretching into eternity.

And then, as if mocking our feeble attempts at control, the plane tilted almost 180 degrees, its nose plummeting towards the earth with a sickening lurch. Time seemed to stand still as we hurtled towards the ground, our fate hanging in the balance as the world spun wildly out of control. But just when all hope seemed lost, a glimmer of salvation emerged from the chaos, a beacon of light amidst the encroaching darkness. With a mighty roar, the engines surged to life once more, their thunderous symphony drowning out the cacophony of the storm as we clawed our way back from the brink of oblivion. As the storm clouds parted and the sun cast its golden rays upon the horizon, we emerged battered but unbroken, our spirits buoyed by the triumph of the human spirit in the face of adversity. And though our journey had been fraught with peril and uncertainty, we emerged from the crucible of the skies stronger and more resilient than ever before. For in the crucible of adversity, we discovered the true measure of our strength, our courage, and our unwavering determination to defy the odds and chart our course through the tempestuous seas of life. As we touched down on solid ground once more, I couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of the world around us, a testament to the indomitable spirit of the human soul.

Arjun Narasimhan Kuppuswamy

Grade 8C

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How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health?

An integral part of children’s health, mental health, works hand-in-hand with their physical health, aiding them to succeed at school, work, and in society. Together, physical and mental health affect how one thinks, feels, and acts. Mental health is important through all stages of life, from prenatal to late adulthood. The foundation of mental wellbeing is established in the early years. It is the ability to produce positive emotions, feelings, ideas and adapt oneself when hit by a stressful situation or an adversity. 

Why is a Child's Mental Health Important?

A child’s brain is like raw, fresh clay, one in its moulding stage. During the developing stage of their childhood, children acquire cognitive and socio-emotional skills that determine their mental health. The exposure to their immediate environments and experiences at home, school, peer groups, etc., helps them develop these skills. During the development stages of children’s life, parents must entail a positive and enriching environment for themto blossom in, and to be mentally healthy to function efficiently as an adult. Following are little tokens of affection parents can utilise to support their child’s mental health:
  • Show Unconditional Love
The simplest acts of love, such as giving hugs, can trigger the release of oxytocin; bringing a wave of warmth and contentment. Unconditional love differs vastly from rewarding your child for their achievements (as you will see next), it means loving them regardless and not only if. Feeling loved is tagged along feelings of security, a reassurance every child needs. 
  • Praise their Characteristics
Your child needs to be appreciated for their accomplishments and good deeds. The kind words will not only encourage them to continue doing so but make them feel recognised. Respect your child and approach them with a positive, and empathic attitude. Do not forget that their behaviour is a reflection of yours.
  • Spend Time Together
Play games, sing silly songs, read bedtime stories, play throwball at the park - do activities that bring you together. Over a period of time, these things might encourage them to view you as a friend rather than as a parent. Such positive experiences give them a dopamine rush and a lifetime full of memories. Henceforth, they will valuethe importance of spending time with their loved ones.
  • Communicate Regularly
Walk and talk through their daily lives as well as any troubling experiences. Encourage them to talk about their feelings so they develop effective processing and communication skills. Talk to them with a soft approach and assure that you are always available to listen. Communication is key. Sometimes, an ear to their problem is all they need. 
  • Build Trust
Be sensitive to your child’s needs and respond to the signals they give. Ensure a safe space by creating a warm, loving home for them. A strong support system results in many positive benefits, such as reducing stress and higher levels of well-being. Building a relationship on trust will aid the child’s emotional regulation and, in turn, raise them to have sustainable relationships as adults.
  • Get Them Help if They Need It
As soon as you notice signs of deteriorating mental health, address these concerns. Early identification is essential to get them the help they need. Children’s minds are fragile and need proper guidance and care to tackle bigger issues. For additional support, approach professionals - a teacher or school counsellor to begin with. In such cases, it is necessary to understand the root of the problem rather than jumping directly to the solution - and that is where professionals come into the picture. 

Conclusion

The culture at Ekya is built on empathy and respect - students are taught and treated with the same. We create a positive and encouraging space for children to feel safe. By inculcating recreational activities such as reading books and watching movies as part of the curriculum, we make learning engaging and fun. Not only does this ensure the holistic development of the child in an enriching environment, but also empowers them to go out in the world as highly competent and good human beings !!

Tips To Ensure Your Child Is Safe On The Internet

Most of us are familiar with the famous legend of Hamline, the Pied Piper. Dressed in multicoloured clothing, he had a special pipe that hypnotised innocent children, trapping them all into momentary musical pleasure. Their parents did not have the power to stop him; naturally, they watched children walking after him under his spell.  Pied Piper has evolved from simply being a legend to becoming a part of our everyday lives in the 21st century. Instead of the melody, our children are hypnotised by the extravagant virtual world. Today the internet has seeped into our lives, profoundly influencing and affecting almost all our everyday activities. Therefore, it has taken a deviation from utility to necessity. On the brighter side, it has transformed the world into a close-knit community while inviting the vulnerable section of the society into the darker side of cyberspace.  According to UNICEF, more than 1/3rd of children in over 30 countries have experienced cyberbullying, and 1/5th have skipped school. Over 80% of children in 25 countries have felt imperilled by online exploitation.  Although there are downsides to excess internet usage and visibility, with caution and limitation, children can safely surf and learn, know and discover various aspects, which would have been impossible without the internet.   What can you do as a parent to protect your child from cyber threats? Protecting children from danger is innate in parents. Whether holding hands while crossing the road or choosing a school with a safe and stimulating environment, you should take all the appropriate steps, and the same can be done in the cyber world.  
  • Observe
Observe your children and analyse the time spent browsing. Analyse how much time they spend learning a new skill or entertainment for educational purposes. Be cautious of their changing behaviour pattern, as when one is addicted becomes impulsive and restless. 
  • Have a conversation
Narrate a few case studies not to scare them but to inform them of cyberbullying, phishing, trolling, scamming, identity theft and more. Have a chat regarding smart usage and share a few things you have learnt or discovered on the internet
  • Set ground rules
Establish ground rules concerning screen time and dos and don't, such as sharing certain photos or information on the internet without prior consultation. More importantly, guide them through virtual empathy; children will be more sensitive, mindful and respectful towards others online.
  • Enable parent control
Enabling parental control will help you set online curfews and keep you updated on online activities, such as browsing time and content accessed. A few applications will allow you to set a timer; if your child surpasses the appointed time, it blocks the computer/application. 
  • Giving Your Children Trust And Respect
Allowing your children some space to explore, trust and respect them as they use the internet is essential since it will help them open up and share any problems they face.   Here are a few internet safety tips for kids: 
  1. Be informed of cyber threats such as bullying, phishing, scamming, identity theft and more.
  2. Do not tolerate bullies or hackers, or blackmailers. Take immediate action by reporting or blocking. If nothing works, take the parents' assistance.
  3. Do not respond to emails or texts from strangers.
  4. Do not click on unknown links or open attachments.
  5. Never accept to meet anyone you meet online.
  6. Do not share your private information with anyone online. 
Virtual protection for your children should be your top priority in a world with extensive internet usage. We at Ekya schools emphasise that the dangers possessed by the dark side of the internet are unforeseeable. Our expert teachers take the necessary precautions to build a safe and fun learning environment for your children.

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