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Family time is less common now in the era of gadgets and digital distractions. The age-old ritual of family dinners is possibly the best way to get every member of the family together. As the saying goes “A Family that eats together, stays together”, but the merits of ‘Family Dinner’ are manifold. It provides a sense of belonging and caring among all members, promotes healthy eating habits, relieves stress, offers a ‘good night’s sleep’, and more than anything it brings happiness and encourages family bonding. Here is an interesting blog by Ms. Shilpa Arun, parent of Anika Arun Bharadhwaj, studying in Grade-2 in Ekya School JP Nagar, on “Dinner Table Conversation,” discussing the purpose, challenges and positive outcomes of reviving the ‘Dinner Table Ritual.’
Parenting is touted as an arduous adventure for most adults at present. All adults as parents always do their best to nurture their young ones.
From pre-birthing sessions, birthing lessons, to postpartum experiences, infancy, toddlers, pre-schoolers, primary schoolers… the information flows on, till we are tired of seeking. I begin to wonder how our parents and elders managed to parent without this information flux. Or were we better children? This debate never ends. What caught my attention was Dinner table conversations. This seemingly innocent routine, which most of us followed in our homes, with our parents, is now a major bonding activity for the new age parents. It strongly reminded me, that eating together, these days is indeed a challenge. We forgot about this important time, without fully understanding its consequences, perhaps.
Our evenings struggled by the hour, with phone conferences, virtual meetings, and endless office reports. We resorted to eating on time rather than choosing to wait for everyone to be home in the evening, or interrupting work, to make time for a dinner with family – has this really become a thing of the past!? It took me, close to 8 months and a lot of organizing, to finally introduce this dinner ritual in our home. Repeated attempts to create Meal-time-Rituals, Eating-Together memories in our home, were met with the blaring Television/Music, Meeting Reminders and the ever charged, ever-connected MOBILE phones. Nevertheless, we implemented eating one meal together “Dinner-time!” I would love to share our experience.
While attempting to articulate the learning (even for us, parents) I understand better, how the repetition, consistency, conscious conversations, togetherness, being present and minus the gadgets, work with children. There are days when on weekends, I admit, I want to order some burgers and finish our dinner on the couch in front of the TV, but the children – I hear them assigning chores to set up the table among them, that is motivation enough, for us parents to straighten ourselves and cook-up even a simple rice and rasam to eat together, while the ice cream tub will complement it. The real icing on this piece? is that children are independently managing the table. That is a great starting point, right? I am also seeing the bright speck of light, at the end of the long tunnel – ‘Eat what is cooked, well.’ Almost.
I guess I have learned more than I taught or thought. With dinner time, there are so many takeaways, despite the exhaustion!!
Despite that lingering incomplete office report at the back of my mind, having managed to create a small window of time for us all, to connect with each other, sans distractions (read TV and phones for us elders), we get a glimpse into this amazing world, a multitude thought universe, all packed into the little children, who are the greatest teachers in our lives and help us, parents, attain the ever eluding spiritual and mental maturity! I am reaching for the stars, eh? Maybe.
Although we start at, being happy to retain parts my sanity, while disciplining the ‘younger versions of us parents’ out of the kids, I cannot wait to continue this ritual of endless chitter-chatter, too many questions, loud arguments, strict disciplining, secret negotiations, crying, laughing our hearts out, cheering & teasing, sharing, planning a get-away, discussing weird stories, books, politics, education, food, friendships, myriad of experiences, and a thousand other random silly things. This fits great into our hearts.
I pray that this ritual will go on to become a tradition of sharing, listening, caring, modeling positive relationship building and successfully managing to bring a smile on the grumpy faces who may have a had a bad day. It is important and we are loving it!
Try it yourselves! There is really more that could happen while eating together.
Ms. Shilpa Arun is a Chartered Accountant, with about 15 years of work experience in corporate finance, auditing & compliance. She loves practicing yoga, listening to music, reading and spending time with my family. She strongly aspires to learn something new every few years.
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